Christene LeDoux: NEWS/BLOG

Working on printing/office tasks here in Austria is a riot.

Ok, I'm lying.

It's annoying as ....

Well put it this way. There is no Kinko's where I live.

A gorgeous little city in the alps (that as we speak has fully blossomed into Spring - yay!) but nowhere near as cosmopolitan as our big bad Wien.
Which admittedly, I don't want anymore so that's the upside.

The downside?

The printer around the corner is A. Not open all night which does not lend itself well to my back to vampire hours while working on my CD graphics.
(Confession again; I'm glad things don't stay open all night here but I do miss this one little thing when I am working *smile*) and B. It's run by if you are lucky 2 half-way clueless college students (sorry guys, I do love you).

More often than not it's one guy with his cute little vintage t-shirt and dark jeans, converse and hair in his face.
And as sweet as he is and to look at (um, sorry honey) he's usually so overwhelmed it can take as long as 20 minutes just to be seen. Really.

And most times, especially at the busiest which with a place that closes at 6pm I believe means alway they (he) usually asks you to come back in an hour.
Well, if you're lucky.

But really?

2-3 hours and sometimes he has even asked me to come back another day altogether.

Yikes.

So as I have just spent the past 14 hours straight finishing designing every last detail in my 12-page CD book, I am wondering how all this will pan out when I mosey on over to see the printer for a practice run before going into duplication.

Helli has the day off and although it's nice having him here during the day, I must say while trying to work it's a bit maddening. Love can be a great big time consuming distraction. Nuff said.

Anyway, it should be fun to to have him work with me tomorrow.
He can get a good laugh and see just what it is I am talking about.
He's been to Kinko's with me in the US - my favorite past time next to Office Depot. I know, I'm a little sick. I mean, an office store is like a toy store to me. Geesh.

Ok well I made a vow to slow down on the journals because I am spending more time on them than writing songs. That's not good.
And I don't even post half of them which is downright scary.

My head is spinning from layers and fades, bleeds and cutting and pasting. I think some ranting was called for.

There.
So getting office tasks done in Austria is no small deed.

The end of my big exciting news for today.

Christene LeDoux * Little Pumpkin Music Newsletter
May 2008 (!) NEWS for songwriter Christene LeDoux
Issue No. 89

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-- Message from Christene
-- Dust & branches...songs from a wanderer available in JUNE!
-- PLUS *bonus* "tumbleweed...live, unreleased & rarities" CD coming soon after...
-- Tour dates this Summer/Fall in England/Scotland & Australia!
-- Want to host a concert with me in your home? You host in any country, I come to you! Help organize or host a show in general anywhere in the world?
-- Quote for the month...

Hallo (as we say in Austria)!

You may be wondering if I am still alive... !
I am here! :-))
If you didn't already know, I want to share with you that last year health-wise, was probably the most challenging I have personally had. I am doing really well now - completely on the mend - and charging full (ok, a little slower than that to preserve my health!) speed ahead back to finish the new record and touring this Summer and Fall.

The hospital stays, time at home and struggle to make it out, changed a lot of things for me, mainly how I was living my life out there. For a long time, it was music only, at the expense of my mental and physical health, my family and more - so I am not surprised that at the end of that particular road, I had a good old fashioned break down.

It's just like the children's fairy tale humpty dumpty except I was lucky enough to get the pieces of me, back together. :-) I apologize for last Spring/Summer/Fall cancelations and thank you for understanding through it all.

Onward...
The new CD's are absolutely and miraculously coming this June 2008! You have been so patient and loving to me through the years and I want to say thank you for that. It means a lot to me to have such amazing friends, family & fans in this world. Please note CDbaby has been re-stocked with more Little Lighthouse CD's and the first 45 are autographed! Thank you for waiting so patiently.

I have just returned to Austria as of a few days, as we speak - preparing to put "Dust & branches...songs from a wanderer" into duplciation!
Recording in Austin with Mark & friends was challenging due to allergies but aside from that, amaaaazing! I am sooo happy with the outcome and cannot wait to share the CD and all the surprises that come with it!

Another CD, "Tumbleweed... live, unreleased & rarities" is also coming this summer (albeit a bit later as it's being shipped from the US) and was mastered by my good friend and Little Lighthouse producer BZ Lewis at his Studio 132 in San Francisco/Oakland. I just picked up the master while in America last week and will be putting that into duplication as well. Thank you so much to Vic & Reba Heyman for allowing this CD to happen!

Starting in June, I'll be all over England and Scotland as usual and later this year am excited to take my first of many tours to come of Australia.
If you would like to host a house concert, help organize a show or can house me while I am in Australia, England & Scotland and well anywhere in the world, please send me a private email. I will happily come to you and give you a private show we will both remember for years to come.

House concerts have been in my schedule for years and are the most intimate, comfortable and best way to see me perform. They have and will always be my favorite way to perform for you. We pick a date, invite some of your friends, family, co-workers etc.. some of my fans if space permits, either have a potluck or offer snacks (if you'd like) and wala! I love playing acoustically and do not need anything more than a warm place to sleep for the night and even if we can't manage that, I can find one! Feel free to hit reply and let me know your thoughts. I am happy to tell you more about house concerts, how easy they are to host and help you every step of the way.

You can view my current but ever-changing schedule on the show link.

I hope we cross paths soon & more than anything, I hope wherever you are, you are happy. I miss all of you and that crazy, long, tiring but calling to me road...

love,
Chris
p.s If you sponsored Dust & branches... way back when, please send me a private email with your name and the amount. This is important so I can include you in the thank you's! :-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Quote for the month...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"...To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not, rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common- this is my symphony..." {William Henry Channing's Symphony}

- William Henry Channing

It's 2:30am.

Nowhere near my 5:00am bedtime last night but dogonnit, nothing close to the wonderful early to bed, early to rise hours I kept while in the states. *sigh*

Believe it or not, my emergency sleeping pills were robbed in Austin, Texas by none other than the maid at the hotel I had to move to the last 3 nights there. *geesh*
I had a hunch that day to hide everything as I had 3 guitars and a ton of luggage at that point (from clearing storage) as well as my mac...so thank goodness for that.
Still. I sure could use those suckers now.

Anyway....

I have wanted to write so much for so long and have really had no time.
I still don't but since I can't sleep and I'm really not up for taking cold medicine to get it, here I am.

It's unbelievable how much I accomplished in the nearly 5 weeks I was away in America.

I had hight hopes and expectations and despite not being entirely done yet, I met them all. Exhausted but boy do I feel good about the progress.

Amazing how last year was such a stink for me. Hospital stays and canceled tours.
It's like I am making up for the past year in a few months. *yikes*

As of today, I officially located a duplication company I will use for the new CD.

This is big news for as I spent months and weeks agonizing and researching the best options.
Since I am living abroad, it's a bit complicated with shipping and customs and timing. I have none of that now. Time I mean.

So what a relief today when I met and formed an instant what I know will be lasting career relationship with a local duplicator.

Speaking of making up for things...
It dawned on me on the flight home, after coming out of some heavy family drama, that maybe when you live far from it all, your siblings somehow keep a sort of "family credit card account" on you.
Like when you return, since you've been gone, it's time to pay up.
But the kind of credit card you will never pay off and without the usual perks that come with it. Just a bottomless American family express card.

I never noticed this before this last trip but I must say, after a very uncomfortable confrontation with my always hard to get to older sister, I realized that I am the one that has changed and not her.
I could see it all so plainly even while it was happening (albeit after a brief but necessary losing it moment) but it wasn't until the homecoming flight home that I could put it into perspective.

And after it all was..is said and done, it helped to close some much needed doors and fears I had about growing old and further away from my family.

It looks like I was right all along that America is not where I belong and being that I moved out a little over 16 years old and began my life on the run at 20, it definitely opens my eyes to maybe why I left and stayed away in the first place.

As good as things are with the rest of the family, I can still see this so clearly now. Which was necessary to bring me to the peace I needed to feel, at leaving it all behind forever. Or at least for what now feels like forever. I suppose there really is no forever.

I was the happiest arriving home than any other time and calling Innsbruck and Europe home, I mean a real home and what an amazing feeling.

Getting on that crazy autobahn, stopping at a beautiful little village in the alps before home, by the sea, watching the sunset with my husband.
Driving into my little city with the pretty snow-capped alps, driving up to our 100 year old apartment then walking in and smelling the 100 year-old wood floors, was nothing short of amazing. Even having the real wife moment I had been waiting for.... my husbands pile of unanswered mail, laundry and dead plants.

I have never in my life felt a sense of home or belonging anywhere.
And although life is still life and I will always be a tumbleweed, I realize how good I managed to make things.
Now after my wanderings, I get to come back to a real home, with a beautiful man and real friends, a life. Something I never thought I would get to see in well, my lifetime.

It's late and I've definitely rambled. So I guess I'll save the story of playing at my 7 year old niece Maya's school for the next one. That's whole nother' epiphany altogether and boy did that give me new wings to fly on.

love from a happy but sleepy jet-lagged and happy wandering homebody,
Chris

Hitchhiking back home because we walked too far and we were late for dinner. Six and seven years old.

Staying awake all night, going to 7-11 to buy junk food. Stay up, eat it, wait for the milkman to come and run around the neighborhood stealing milk. Sometimes mom waking in the middle of it all telling us to get inside and us running for dear life, laughing and saying, "noooo" (giggle, giggle) Around seven and eight years old.

Ditching school with our big brother as the ring leader. Going to the laundry mat where my sister said, "there was all kinds of fun to be had."
Putting our little brother in large dryers, pushing each other around in the laundry carts. Eleven, seven, six and four years old.

Having Cinemax in our room growing up, getting a way too early lesson by watching movies like "Lady Chaderly's lover." Always.

Toilet papering our neighbor's house across the street and realizing she'd know it was us, so toilet papering our own - then getting caught.

These are the stories I am falling asleep to.
These are the tales my sister told me tonight and despite the fact that I am supposed to be the storyteller, I can't remember a thing about.

If you asked me what my childhood was like, I would say not tragic but ignored. I would say we raised ourselves. All five of us and that's sadly the truth.
I would sigh in relief we all turned out pretty good considering.

There are so many more that even now as I sit in bed, I can't remember.

Everytime I come to Merced and stay with my older sister by one year, Nettie, I get a glimpse into my past, a childhood that to this day, I cannot remember.

There are little bits here but hardly anything really. And as far as long stories about scenarios and moments both mischevious and hilarious, I couldn't tell you.

It's a strange thing I never really explored or that has seemed to bother me.
Not remembering I mean.

But I suppose the older I get, the more I realize if I can't remember not only the stories but my childhood now, I never will. And like my sister said, without siblings, I'd have no history.

So after a belly-laughing conversation and bonding with my wonderful sister, I am excited to see what I will dream.

I am kind of hoping she planted a seed and maybe some great story or memory will just play itself out like a movie.

I would love to know what it was like to be me as a kid. I have no idea, no recollection at all.

Anyway, what were we doing staying up all night going to convenience stores, stealing the neighborhoods milk and hitchhiking back home at six and seven?
Where was everyone?

Wow, when did I ever feel this relaxed.

Sitting in the hot tub with my first glass of red wine (or anything alcoholic for that matter) in nearly 2 months, was next to being with my husband, a wonderful celebratory evening.

I'm with my sister and her family and finally, even though still buried in work, beginning to feel the stress of the last months lift. *ahhh*

It's surprisingly chilly in California right now (which I admittedly love) and was the perfect night for a hot tub.
It made me miss my sauna's with one of my best friends Patri but was a good distraction until I make my way home this weekend.

My intended day of departure was Wednesday but as it turns out, I have a lot to do here before I go, including a photo shoot as well as a reunion with my friend and producer of Little Lighthouse BZ.

So although I am dying to get home, I went ahead and changed my plans to fly out Saturday instead. And because of all the March 27 Terminal 5 stress, the wonderful British Airways specialist Dave changed my flight 2 times free of charge. *yay* (Thanks Dave!)

I have mixed feelings, as always, about leaving America and heading for Austria.

On one hand, I am with my family and just as I get into the zone, it's time to go. On the other hand, I am completely missing my husband, friends and life back in Innsbruck and can't wait to fly home.

As always, I can never figure out what I want or what is right or... So I just go with the flow (as usual) and let the universe figure out the kinks and make it right.

At least Dave informed me today the British Airways Terminal 5 in London kinks have been worked out so that's something.
And after shipping a container from Austin to Austria via an International shipping company, giving away the last of things and hauling the leftover bits here, I am not exactly jumping for joy at the thought of hauling all of this through them.
We'll see but I'm hoping for the best.

It has taken me some years to get this point.
This point of everything (nearly) I own in one place, one country.
And although it's been time consuming, expensive and sometimes very troublesome, I am very excited at the idea of not attaching one more Uhaul...ever again.

The days of taking everything I owned from state to state, country to country either in a big truck, car towing a Uhaul or suitcase, does not appeal to me in the least bit. Not anymore anyway.

Dreaming of the peaceful days that await me in Innsbruck, in between the hectic touring ones, keeps me on my toes and waiting to see what comes next.

At the moment, at least until the next nearby wave hits, I am relaxing the night away feeling accomplished and proud of all my hard work.

Just floating.

12 must be my lucky number today.

I woke up at 4:12am with enough time to head out to the airport, check in my 3 guitars and 3 very large bags from clearing out storage completely, finally.
I arrived at oddly enough 5:12 with enough time to breath and walk calmly to my gate without running.
I sat at row 12 and met the most amazing person. We completely annoyed all within earshot with our laughing and talking but I don't care. After being on vocal rest, sucking on lozengers and drinking throat teas on my way, then after what I went through when I arrived in Austin with allergies, talking to my hearts content was well, a relief that I am still me and able to relax and chat on planes. :-)
The whole don't talk, breath your nose and suck lozengers was getting very, very old.

I am sitting now in Denver, Colorado at the airport. My layover is long which I purposefully planned as the other connection left me with only 30 minutes to spare from plane to plane. And with all my luggage I knew I would have, I figured that could get risky too.

I am chatting via Skype with my husband, eating my yummy organic apples...yeeehaw and reflecting on the very hectic but amazing and accomplished 12 days in Austin.

I don't want to give anything away ... or too much anyway ... about the record but I will tell you because I think I forgot to, my voice on Monday (the second to the last day of recording) returned to about 80%! Not 100 but enough to get a great sound out of these here old lungs and although I couldn't totally reach my head voice, it all worked out in the end.
Mark tells me I got a great little record here and from what I heard when I left, I would have to agree. More work is taking place as we speak. Very exciting.
I still can't believe it.

Yesterday, Dick and I met to discuss the cover and we have one! Yeehaw... So now that it's out of the way, we can build from there.
About 2 weeks or less to get this done is pushing it but like the record time recording this record (get it? heee... lame I know, sorry) things seem to be falling into place.

After all the loans and organizing/coordinating, details and stress, it's going to be if not in my hands in time for the start of my touring in June, surely by mid-June give or take.

Speaking of, "tumbleweed... " is also coming. More on that later as I haven't even begun to think past getting the files mastered. That is done and now I will think about the cover.

So much work to be done.
And although I feel very accomplished and totally exhausted, I am up for it and ready for the remaining long haul ahead of me. Including the insane schedule I will be keeping this summer and fall.

We'll see.

Funny how things work out in the end.

All it is taking today is the number 12 to give me hope.

After driving over the bridge every night from the studio, watching the locals and tourists alike line up to watch the bats wake, last night I finally "caved" in (get it? lol) and stopped to watch.

It was fun to join in the crowds lining the bridge and the river banks below with picnic baskets, wine and cameras.
It's cooled down a bit the last few days and the weather has been absolutely glorious. Though, as a self-confessed cold-weather lover, I will admit I missed the mid-late 80's - 100% humid weather we had the first week I was here.

It was like a warm blanket wrapping around you, making your skin silky soft.
I actually started to enjoy it.
What I didn't enjoy living was (and never, ever will) were the long late-spring/summer and fall unbearably HOT months. No siree.

On a new note...

Today was both productive and fun.
I had my first day off from recording, it is Sunday after all.

I started the day by waking WAY too early, 6am. Nonetheless, it got me to a great start and I got a lot done for a day off.
I was too early for Austin Java, they weren't even open yet. So I logged into their free internet in the parking lot waiting for them to open. *smile*

I enjoyed my first cup of coffee with cream since leaving California.
That was by far the highlight.
Oh yes, I am already imagining it again after Tuesday when I have no more vocals. *yay*

I skyped with my husband for a couple of hours while working in between on graphic stuff, emails, trying to cut down the never-ending to do list while I am here this last week.

I met with my graphic designer and we got a really great start to the project. I can't wait to meet again this week and see how it's going.

On my way out, I decided to hit up my storage unit which was something I have been dreeeeeeaming about for a long time now.
Wow! It was like going shopping! I had soooo many clothes that I forgot how much I loved just waiting for me. I really feel like I went on a shopping spree. So great.
And the best part? I FOUND my favorite, old fishing hat with all the pins I have been collecting since a child.
I though I had lost this when the UK postal service lost, then destroyed a package of my things my friend tried to send me from the UK to Austria. *yay*

After digging through all my goods (very joyfully) I made piles and decided what I will ditch, ship and try to haul in my extra 3 (yes, I said 3) bags I plan to take on the plane. Is this even possible? I have no idea. But dammit all if I am leaving my old Martin guitar, mandolin, vintage suitcases, box of old lyrics from here and there and all those wonderful clothes. No way sucker. Not this time.
I'll find a way.

So I am back at the condo now.
My plan to sit poolside went far out the window but that's ok, I made the most amazing spinach salad yet, cleaned up before I pick up Karen tomorrow (I've been lucky to have it all to myself) went through some discs I found with old demo's I had forgotten about that I will add to formerly named, "tumbleweed the live album" to the newly named, "Odds 'n' ends... live, unreleased & other oddities."
Don't worry, the tumbleweed live album will for sure be next.

Now I am getting ready to work out my song part on a beautiful co-write I did with my very talented Norweigen friend.

I guess I am trucking along now and despite the past week being a total vocal nightmare for me, I actually feel pretty close to normal today. Go figure.
Just toward the end...
On well.

I may end up in there doing a marathon re-recording of vocals if need be but despite my voice, Mark tells me it's great and sounds great... so maybe I will have to re-listen and decide. We'll see.

All I know is the steriods have calmed a bit. I am still suffering the D word (sorry, gross) and the last 24 hours had a slight, dry nose bleed but otherwise, I don't feel too weird. And it seems the weight gain I had last time I took the pills isn't coming. That's nice because although I am far from vein, I have been losing weight with my super healthy eating and giving up all things booze and sugar to prepare my voice for the record. A lot of good it did me in the long run but the weight loss was a nice surprise.

I'm looking forward to hearing Karen's mandolin on the record, having a surprise vocal guest *smile* and driving through this weird, beautiful town.

Austin never ceases to amaze me. On the ride home from storage (oh yes, this was after my quick stop at my favorite Goodwill on S. Lamar) I saw in a matter of minutes; a man that looked like he should be on the cover of GQ with only shorts and flip flops on a harley, a homeless "cowboy" who held up a sign saying, "Howdy, I'm just an old cowboy," two grown men in front of a toy store on the sidewalk playing an array of toy instruments to entice people in and a runner that looked to be 80. He was hauling butt too. And the smell. Oh, I can't describe that but I'll try. Why don't I say it's just like a never-ending barbq smell everywhere.

I don't think I will ever "really" live in America again. I adapted well to the slower, calmer pace of European life and realized it's much more suited to my neurotic nature. Being in a busy country just blew me in circles all the time. I don't miss that at all. Family and friends, that's another story.

But I do love Austin and have a new appreciation for it when I blow through town.

love,
Chris

Going backwards for a minute (take my mind off the sensitive vocal stuff - although today has been GREAT and we are re-doing alot of them...more on that later)... back to going backwards....

This first photo was the start of my March 27, 2008 flight of Munich via London en route to San Francisco.
Keep in mind it was not even 9:30am yet and to celebrate their Terminal 5, they gave us champagne and gummy bears!
So this was my first photo of the journey... hopeful;

This was the 5 hour Terminal 5 line I was in that had people waiting for hotels, connections ideas, basically an update on what the hell was going on. This was the second photo of the journey... chaos;

I spent the whole 7 days I waited for my luggage in a freak out going online constantly to see if they were found yet, calling the special 800 number to no avail.
Keep in mind, I was told my bags were amongst 28,000 stranded bags - I really didn't think I'd be seeing them again.
This was the night I refreshed the browser like a psycho and got the good news... happy;

>

You have no idea how delicious my cup of coffee with real cream is tasting right now. *smile*

On my day off, today Sunday, I am allowing myself to partake in an otherwise big no-no, coffee with cream.

It's Sunday and I was wide awake at 6:00am. *ugh*

Although I am not in the studio today, I do have a 10:30am graphics appointment with my designer. I suppose after my crazy dream of dog suicide (don't ask, I have NO idea) I had too much anxiety even for my sleep.

So I have a few more days this week remaining.

Tomorrow I pick up my friend Karen from the airport and drive her straight to the studio to play mandolin on my record. *yay*

I'm staying in her totally cozy condo and even though I normally dread warmth and heat (I know, I am crazy) today I was really hoping for one of those 80-90+ 100% humid days like when I arrived last week. Oh well. Karen has a pool and that was on my mind after my meeting today. *sigh* Maybe next week before I leave.

It's been a hell of a ride I tell ya'.
I never imagined recording in such a short time frame with full blown Austin, Texas allergies would be so completely and utterly challenging. I mean, of course I wasn't expecting the allergy part - or whatever the heck is going on.

I knew it would be work, it always is. But what I just went through and it seems only have one vocal left to get through next week, was seriously like pulling teeth.

I was never an allergy sufferer and until last week and at present, I never really understood all the fuss about them. Boy did I have a lesson to learn.

It pretty much rendered my head/high voice useless which meant singing around it, changing arrangements etc... and my middle, at times pretty challenging connecting it all. There were times literally, I had such big globs in my throat (sorry) that you could hear it in the mic very clearly. *ick*

It's turning out I am not freaking out emotionally on the steriod shot like I did when Dr. Kessler gave me the pills 3 years ago so I could sing at Telluride.

However, I am noticing some other nasty side effects. *sigh*
Jumpier than hell, nausea, headache, major stomach pain and cramps, the D word (I won't go there) and little chipmunk cheeks. Totally weird to say the least.

Yesterday after recording the vocals for Wanderin' I went to ly down and when I got up, nearly passed out.
This whole experience has been both desperate and difficult and on a day off, at this moment, I can see also somewhere down the road something to learn from and as always, a good story.

So alas, I am feeling in good spirits today.

I may see where my voice is at Monday and Tuesday on the last days and if it's close to normal, I may do a marathon re-do of some vocals. We'll see.

Mark, Ned and Andre swear they sound good despite not being in top form but you know how singers are. Or if you don't, let's just say we expect a lot from ourselves. I know the level I can perform and sing at and when for reasons like this I can't, it's like taking away the legs of a runner.

I'll have a new perspective on everything tomorrow after this much needed day off. Or sort of day off.

I have to practice my part on a song I wrote with a Norweigen friend, clean the condo before I get Karen tomorrow and continue working on graphic stuff.
So I guess it's not technically a day off.

Although since I am not singing in the mic today and I am getting a cup of coffee with cream, I feel like it's a whole weekend to be honest.
It's amazing what a good cup of joe as we say in America can do for you.

And as we say here in Tejas, yeeeehaw!

love,
Chris

Studio session 3 update...

After writing my morning blog, I decided to call my doctor in New York for advice.

What I got was a referral to the vocal doctor that treats Lyle Lovett.
That was enough legitimacy for me.
And as it turns out, it's also the vocal doctor for my producer Mark.
Done deal. I'm there.

I called immediately, begged and was seen 45 minutes later.

I postponed my graphics appointment and sat in anticipation, after telling my long
sorted past, present .... and waited for the news & my asap treatment plan.

What I did, that I swore after the Telluride Festival incident I'd never do again, was take steriods.
The difference was instead of pills, I took half a dose by way of a shot in the hips. A nice fat needle straight through the skin.

Although I am a bit scared of the outcome, when I was told this would shrink these apparent allergy-inflamed sinuses, I was all for it. There is too much time
and money and well, people involved and invested in this project to not do everything I can to make this work.

Though fair enough, I have serious reason to hesitate on the steriods front.
Last time I tried them for a vocal problem not only did it not help but made me pretty pyscho. Then again, steriods wasn't going to give me any kind of voice back as
in that incidence, it turned out I had a tracheal infection which ultimately needed
the right antibiotics.

Anyway...

Today, after the said shot, I got a bag full of this and that, sudaphedren (or however you spell that) nasal sprays, you name it and I am well full of it. Of course no pun is intended. *smile*

Now I am writing from the studio, watching the awesome Mark play bass on Angel you've come too soon and Andre run the boards. Taking a minute here and there between takes to write.

Andre tells me that if that vocal was considered bad (the one that threw me into years yesterday) then he was really, really excited to hear the good stuff.
This gives me the confidence I will need to make it out it one piece, with a great record in my hands. At least that is what I am telling myself.

I'm not sure why my traveling & it seems vocal luck is the way it is. But rest assured, this is not bringing me down in the slightest because if all else fails, I have a plan B.
And at the end of the day, in the big scheme of life, this is far less important than things like my family, husband and friends. I stand by that no matter what happens.

People run marathons with one leg. Some people have no legs and enter marathon races in wheelchairs. For crying out loud as my dad says, there are far more important things in life to worry about.
And wasn't it the Irish proverb that tells us, "worry is the interest you pay on the troubles of tomorrow?"

Yeah.
I'm ok.
I am.

Just a little bummed after all the work to get the money and the flights and the schedules for all involved. All the preparation, trials while traveling. *sigh*
Really I am ok.

Totally bummed but optimistic the universe will make things right.

til soon...
love from Austin,
Chris

Day 2 and 3 (studio)...

I want to give you (and me) good news.

I want to say my allergies or cold or whatever it is that is completely
clogging my nose and throat is not interfering ... but I'd be lying through well, my nose.

Yesterday (day 2) was a rough day vocal-wise.

We got an amazing mix of Angel you've come too soon turning it into a bittersweet road song. I was so happy that when I ran down into the "hole" (I say that fondly) to record vocals to say I was more than disappointed in my performance is a huge understatement.

With all the teas, sudafed, claritin, sprays, mucinex and even Fed Ex'd vocal vapors from my Dr. Kessler in New York, it was still well, not there.

What does this mean?

That if I am very lucky, by our last session Tuesday I will have beat whatever this is and have a voice.

The downside?

If I don't, we are making arrangements for me to sing my heart out when I return to Innsbruck and send the vocal files to Austin - which will then be mixed/mastered and head out to duplication.

In the long run, this may mean the release is pushed back by maybe 4 weeks.

Now... this is not something I am fond of doing.
In fact, yesterday after this said performance as I was sitting in the control room in tears, I was comforted by this plan B.

Because despite all the people I feel on my shoulder pressuring me (and cheering me) I realize this is life and things do not always work out the way we had planned,
no matter how hard we try or want them to.

So... *sigh* this is just a little news to let you know, there is a slight chance plan B may take effect.

If you have any deals with god or angels or .... please, can I cash in any amount I may have alloted?

I have come so far, I can't believe it.
I have and continue to try everything short of taking two days out and flying to New York to see my doctor. And trust me, I am considering this.

Remember that summer I flew in from Sweden to play Telluride and had laryngitis?
That was important enough for me to fly into New York to see Dr. Kessler personally. And well, this is beyond that .... so... hmm...

Finances are not great. Borrowed, sponsored, you name it.
But I may have to may it work.

I am a fighter and although it big scheme of life this is nothing, I am in the thick of it (no pun intended) and plan on fighting.

I have a saying, "Will it matter in a day, in a week .... in a month ... in a year?"

Maybe today it is time to practice this as a mantra.
At the end of the day, I have my health (for the most part) my family and friends, a wonderful husband, a life I am happy with.

I am done whining and updating.

Although your dances to the gods would be greatly appreciated.

with love and gratitude for all that is life,
Chris
p.s I haven't gone in for day 3 yet. Heading to my graphic designer in 2 hours, then will be back. I'll let you know how it goes - as well as upload the video I made yesterday. <3

Day 1 and 4 songs down. Yay!

After one claritin, sudafed, a whole lotta' throat coat, breath easy and ginger tea - entertainer's secret spray and just a ton of water, my voice is resembling something close to what it should be. *whew*

The stress of the London Terminal 5 Heathrow threw my body into a cold that came on so fast that even I questioned it could come from that.
But after talking with my vocal doctor I can confirm being over-stressed and over-heated for hours can often throw your body into a sort of fever, i.e bringing on any bug that may have been lurking.

My producer Mark and his awesome assistant Jed were nothing short of amazing and everything I could have imagined it to be working easily and painlessly.

You see, recording for me is like, well - pulling teeth.
And being that mom is going under the knife tomorrow, it's no small comparison and do not use it lightly.

But really, some artists thrive in the studio. I am not one of them.

Although, after today, I maybe have to re-think everything I ever thought about being in the studio. It's hard work yes, that is undebatable. But wow, with the right combination, you can work your 8 hour day laughing and smiling.

I took only a few photo's at the end of the day.
It took awhile to get into the groove ... for me anyway ... but I promise more photo's and videos coming soon!

I heard on the news last night it's tornado weather. Oh joy.
Remember that year we (as in America) had a record 400+ in one week? I think it was 2003 maybe?
Anyway, that was the year I lived in Nashville and was touring my way to California. I was stuck in 3 that week. One in Tennessee, one in Arkansas and one on the Texas panhandle. There are of course others, like living in Texas and even one major one before I lived here and was only touring through in 2001. And...geez, I hardly remember anymore.

All I know is, I don't like them.

Mark and I were talking about earthquakes today and I realized, having grown up in them in California, they never scared me one lick. Seriously.

But tornadoes... please, anything but those.

So I am singing off at 21:05. I'm going to have a late dinner of the biggest spinach salad you have seen and then dream away the tornadoes.

If a girl can dream post it notes have legs and are chasing her off a cliff, surely she can dream away a tornado?

You think?

The pilot was not kidding when he said at after 19:00, it was still 88 degress.

I was landing in Austin, Texas and shortly thereafter in my rental car, I rolled the windows down.

I was greeted by warm, moist air that smelled like a combination of wildflowers and BBQ.

Literally in minutes, the bugs began their attack as they always do to me in Texas. Something about the bugs here and my juices I guess. *sigh*

I am sitting now, at Austin Java, my favorite spot to sit online for free but today, I am off the caffeine due to recording and drinking my ginger, breathe easy and throat coat teas.

Lucky me has somehow managed in 24 hours to show signs of allergies.
Everything has gone down south, straight to my cords and made them nice and gooey. Oh, sorry.

I am about to Skype with my husband, finish this tea, get some sudafed and do some serious begging from the universe to make this all well by noon tomorrow when recording begins.

The rental car agency gave me a bright red rabbit and already, as I drive by the Texas rangers, I can see their eyes widen. Not the best color to ward off tickets.

Otherwise, just trying to stay calm, prepare for graphics meetings with my designer in between recording and if I am real lucky, get back to my friend Karen's condo where I am staying and utilize that enticing pool!

After all, it is already unbearably hot (for me) and I don't think the bugs will chase me in there.

Even though I am in a Cafe and not driving around smelling the amazing food throughout this whole town, I now have BBQ on my mind.
I can't get it out actually.

I have changed everything about the way I used to eat. Ribs are out.
But after the time, money and stress it has taken to make it this far, I am going to say a plate of ribs from Artz Rib House is for sure on the menu, in the plan and a must before I head out.

More soon....
love,
Chris

I am back on the roads - getting ready to finish the new record.

In California at the moment and about to head back to Austin, Texas.

I woke up today not with my million things to do list on my mind but with both a smile and a sad face (because I am not there) that today is my one year wedding Anniversary.

Happy Anniversary Muecke! I love you!

love,
me
p. Save me some cake!

March 27th at 9:30, with a glass of bubbly in hand to celebrate the opening of Heathrow/British Airways Terminal 5, I loaded my 2 very large bags into the British Airways system - from Munich - on a wing and a prayer I would ever see them again.

Before shows, I have weird things I like to do. Like play with my harmonica holder a certain way while pacing in circles.
I don't like to talk to anyone about 10 minutes before and I drink my slippery elm throat coat tea like it's going out of style. Sometimes I go to the bathroom nearly 4 times in those 10 minutes and on the not so rare occasion find myself running for the stage as my name is being called.

So when I put luggage on a flight, it's no different in the routine department.
While checking in, I have this little goodbye parting with my bag, asking it nicely to please make sure it pushes and pounds its way to the other end, where I promise to lovingly be there waiting to take care of it.
I secure everything so it has a chance of getting less banged up. I proudly set it down knowing it's one tough cookie and think how lucky I am it's my travel companion and carrying so many important things.

Today is April 2 and finally, after much stressing and compulsive online checking and phone calling with my lost luggage reference number, I read that it has been found!

Out of from I hear now is 28,000 bags in a pile in London with a mere 450 volunteers doing it all by hand, I am totally and completely amazed.

And what has made this worse than say, if I were on a holiday is everything I have needed (except for my guitar thank goodness) is in my 2 very large suitcases. One of which Eagle Creek calls the trunk if that tells you how big I am talking here!

So to say I have been stressing out since being put on a new flight - the day after boarding in Munich - out of London after my original connecting was canceled and being told both bags may be in bag land for weeks to come, is putting it very, very mildly.

I was supposed to start driving by Thursday actually and with the bag situation being dire for me, I scrapped that and decided flying into Austin would buy me an extra few days to wait for them to come.

And that it did. *whew*

During the past 7 days, I have literally lay awake thinking of every last thing I put in those bags, making a mental list of what I had lost. Irreplaceable things and all the files and documents for my graphics. The now I see stupidly placed 50 autographed Little Lighthouse CD's for my main distributor who has been out forever, presents for family.
What was I thinking?
It seems I wasn't.

As ridiculous as it may seem when we have much bigger things going on in this crazy world, to me, this was a big big bleep that in the end would cost me and my husband thousands upon thousands of Euros and already, from the stress I had developed a cold.
A cold to a singer is like the plague and with recording commencing in less than a week, I was preparing myself for no voice. Which equals no recording. Which of course means no new CD... canceled tours, career caput.
And after coming out of over a year of burnout and the past eight months in and out of hospitals, I was not going down without a fight. Not this time.

I am a pro-active kind of girl. Anyone who knows me or has read my journals over the years knows, that although I seem to have some kind of terrible traveling luck (being put smack dab into whatever is going on) I always fight my way through smiling and hoping and being pretty darn positive.

So in the larger scheme of things this really is nothing.
But in my world, it was 5 years of waiting and loans that would be just be gone.
The hope hanging on this by my family, my friends, fans and readers. By my agent and my husband, myself. Was well, huge.
People sometimes hang their hopes on your coat rack and I say this not complaining by any means ... but after having let down everyone and in the process considering hanging up my own dreams last year, I started to wonder what the heck was going on. 2008 has been really amazing thus far and trust me, it was not easy to get to a good year.

So when I posted on a news site my opinion and soon thereafter received hate mail, I was beside myself.

Not angry or sad or any of those things. Just completely surprised that because I was affected by what I and many others consider to be British Airways trying to save money on training their employees (as this is the start of the entire luggage system breakdown) I am deemed by this obviously bored person an 'ugly American.'

Has she not read anything about me or my life, my past...present?

And although I am over it now - both her and the bags - I still can't help but wonder what the heck she was thinking.

It's crazy to think.

The whole carrying a guitar on a plane thing.
People somehow think we are getting away with something.
Like we are having too much "fun" and should not be allowed to carry them on.
You get glares when you do.
And really, have you ever looked at how much space a guitar takes up compared to a business traveler carrying it all? You can't even compare.
And would an airline ask a business man to leave his tool - his large laptop bag, carry on with sometimes his suit wrapped around it behind?
Are you kidding?

We are not getting away with anything. This is our job.
And although we love it and it can be fun sometimes, like everyone, this is a job. A job we must get on a bazillion flights and trains, boats and into cars for. A job where we give literally every single last ounce of energy in the hopes something we sing or say will inspire and help someone. Inspire us to keep going and watching life and listening and writing and singing.

A job that most times, especially in the world of folk music - most presenters, radio DJ's, bookers and so on, volunteer.
They volunteer because they love it.
They volunteer because they believe in the powerful healing of non-commercial, society-fed music.

And we try our hardest to write good songs and sing them with emotion and soul. We try really hard to make sure we keep writing more and finding money somehow to make more CD's. CD's that cost no less than 10,000 each time and in the end, usually double and triple that amount.

And we don't do it because our record label tells us we have to be a money making machine. We don't have one.
And we're not all young and beautiful and trying to get played on top radio or write a hit country song.
A folk singers prime is usually past 40. If we're lucky.

Most of us are doing it for some inexplainable reason.
Some drive that takes hold at whatever point in our lives and does not, despite the sometimes clawing to get away, go away.

It puts us on the roads with little in our pockets, hopefully watching the faces of our audiences and crossing every finger and toe they like us. That they really like us.

We don't need to be rich and good thing because we never will be.

We just want to pay our bills like everyone else.
We want to try and be happy doing what we are doing and on days when we would rather stay in bed, we try our hardest like we all do, to get up and go to work. Give it our best shot.
We don't want to stay out too long because we want to have lives outside of our jobs. We want to see our families and friends and do things like paint or take long walks, pick strawberries and bake pies with them.

And I say all this not for any other reason than this person.
This anonymous person who I will probably never in my life meet.

I say to her - to you - please, before you jump the gun and judge someone, please step back and take a look at why you do what you do.
You want to be happy like every one of us I suspect.
And if any of us are lucky - even remotely - we somewhere, somehow in whatever line of work, inspire someone to be happy, be themselves, not be afraid to love or be loved, stay alive or start living.

This post is dedicated to you stranger.

We are all lost in some way or form.
We all need a safe place to go.
Me included.

I know the internet is not one of them.
I can and have accepted that.

But music for me is mine.
Next to my family of course.

And although we don't know each other and you and I have no stakes in one another's happiness, I hope you too have a hope, a dream, a safe place to go.

I hope you never feel like something as silly as delayed bags and a cold will kill them. It's pretty ridiculous yes ... but real.
At least for me.

I will gladly share my safe place with you any day and I do hope we meet out there. I will sing a song just for you to celebrate.

love, Chris

18:50 British time


A glass of champagne?

Is that enough to start off my supposed relatively painless flight
from Munich via London to San Francisco?

Because that is what British Airways gave us checking in at 9:30 this morning to celebrate the opening of their new Terminal 5 in Heathrow.

I figured a glass of bubbly at an ungodly naughty hour would at least mean the start of a very good travel day.

*cringe*

So now I write to you from a British Airways sponsored London hotel room, while on a £17 ($40 US!) internet connection - to say, champagne can make up
for sitting on planes for hours, lost luggage, almost 4 hours in line to try and get out, a $40 internet connection, well...

*ehem*
And I changed all my Euro over already into dollars thinking it would be best. Damn.

When did our dollar get so low? Yikes.

And now I want to upload the mayhem video I took and photo's but it seems I didn't foresee any problems and packed my power source in my lost checked in luggage. *sigh*

I am running on empty (in more than one way) and will have to cut this short. I did get on here long enough to cancel my ride on the other end in San Francisco and reschedule for tomorrow's rebooked flight (granted it actually goes!) and send you this little note.

Now I must go and use my dinner coupon and meet the large amount of friends I met at the airport, on the bus here and in the lobby. We are having a "We hate British Airways new Terminal 5" dinner party. It was decided I bring my guitar and we write and video tape a song just for the occasion. Oh the joys of traveling as a folk singer. I did actually miss this part.

til next time...
leibe grüße,
Christene

...and good thing too because I am talking about the dentist.

At first I found it really odd that she said literally, nothing to me other than the occasional "open" in German.

It didn't take long at all to realize this is a very good thing.

You see, back in the states, I have had the same dentist since I was 9 years old.

Even when I moved around out of state, out of the country, had no insurance - whatever ... he was always there to help me out, clean me up and strike some kind of deal so I wouldn't end up toothless.
Hallelujah

But my oh my if he didn't tell the longest stories of my entire life.

Heck, I'm a storyteller too, I know the draw to keep em coming and going and...
um.

But I am beginning to put the pieces together as to why my office visits took all afternoon.

As lonely as I sometimes felt as my dentist made a mad dash for the room next to me to tend to another - while I numbed up - I was also relieved I could just close my eyes, rest and count on her dashing back in to get me move on out.

I guess they get paid per customer here.

So after a non-harrowing but more like lovely little nap in a quiet room, good and drugged up, I've had a pretty good day.

I was in, I was out.

All in all, it's been a pretty interesting day.

Dressed mildly for Spring only to be caught in a snow flurry.

Ended up being interviewed on local TV and I spoke German
understandably.

Was walking my bike across the crosswalk when a car stopped for me...
a second later the car behind him crashed into him.

I gave my first real help to tourists, at least 3 minutes worth - entirely in German on where to go to have an inexpensive lunch - nearby and how to get there exactly.

I found a 10 Euro bill at the Supermarket and paid for half of my groceries, mainly gifts for frieds & family in the US next week.

About the only downside (other than the poor suckers who crashed their cars and my cold Spring-like jacket) for some reason my key to get into the building didn't work.

Luckily we have good friends I could ring and get buzzed in.
Still.

I came home to an email that my friend can house me while in Austin for the record... which was a nice cross off my check list of a million things to do in one week.

It was a very interesting day.
Not perfect but damn near it.

Last night I dreamed my post-it notes had legs and were chasing me off a cliff.

So that's the downside.

The upside would be I am back in action, riding once again on the folk train. Trying to get ready to sing and record, planning graphics and meetings here and abroad - trying to maintain just a little bit of a social life before I go (this one I am letting go the last couple of weeks) and more importantly, keep my marriage happy - is well, even for a crazy girl like me - a stretch.

After a meeting with a potential sponsor today, we walked home through the Hofgarten.

I had never actually walked all the way through before, which also meant I never really saw the giant chess set. Literally, statue-sized chess pieces you move about a small basketball court-sized painted on the cement playing "board."

As we walked past and watched two elderly men bundled up for the winter, carefully lifting the chess pieces and going at it - everything just seemed so big and complicated, yet somehow slow and easy.

When I came home and stared at the post it notes in question before me, I was able to see them in a new light.

Compared to the game I just witnessed, they seemed a heck of a lot easier to manuever and at the very least, I can crumple them up and that's the last of it.

Til the next batch that is.

Now - if I dream tonight my post-it notes are calling out at me "check mate," I will seriously be checking into the nearest hospital, playing alot of chess for a long time to come.

Auntie Tina,

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